Ode to the Stun Gun Flashlight

Ode to the Stun Gun Flashlight
By Carl Vouer



Stun Gun Flashlight, defender of truth
You are my beacon of light that is forsooth.
When I walk the streets at night I shall fear no harm
I have you at my side, an extension of my arm.
The legend of your multi-function-ability is the best I’ve ever heard
My only hope is that multi-function-ability is a word.
When my car breaks down in a dangerous zone
I need fear not, I have your attachable red cone.
This works for roadside emergencies when I need it the most
Without you making me visible to other cars I could become toast.
It’s dark out at night and I’ve never had good luck
I could be out changing a tire and get hit by a truck.
But you are more than just that, oh yes so much more
You won’t let harm befall me when I walk out my door.
You come equipped with an alarm so loud it’s quite scary
Perfect for situations that are looking quite hairy.
Once your one hundred and thirty decibel alarm starts a callin’
All those would-be assailants will surely start bawlin’.
I don’t care if these assailants are big, bad and mean
A loud rock concert registers decibels of about one hundred and fifteen.
Your alarm will scare them unless they are deaf as a post
Either way it will alert others and draw the attention of most.
If the attacker is dumb or deaf or both and keeps coming
As soon as I activate the stun baton he’ll surely be bummin’.
The blue arc of light, the crackle of high voltage in the air
Will give even the hardest of criminals a good scare.
If after all this he still wants to attack
You’ll hit him with 200,000 volts and put him on his back.
And what I love most is you’ll do this with care
As stun guns do not permanently harm as much as a hair.
You’re a flashlight, an alarm, a stun gun and more
You are my protector and one I adore.
I’ll never travel without you, of that I can assure
So I need not worry about what may occur.
The streets are bright and safe with you at all times
If everyone had you we could put a major dent in crimes.
So thank you stun gun flashlight for all that you do
I will carry you forever, this much is true.

If you have fallen in love with the stun gun flashlight you are not alone. Please feel free to visit us if you are interested in knowing where to buy stun guns.