Ode to the Cell Phone Stun Gun

Ode to the Cell Phone Stun Gun


A poem by Carl Vouer





It’s late at night and the streets are so quiet



I’m walking alone but I’ll fear no riot.



Because in my pocket I hold some protection



It’s a wonderful item, my favorite selection.



It looks like a cell phone to the naked eye



But a phone it is not, this thing is so sly.



It’s a non-lethal weapon of self-defense.



I will tell you what it is so you are not in suspense.



It’s a cell phone stun gun and I think they are keen



It helps protect the innocent from people that are mean.



If an attacker you fear, with this you should not



This thing will subdue him until in jail he can rot.



It’s as effective a weapon as can possibly be



And so much safer than a gun, I hope this you can see.



A stun device should leave no long lasting effect



Whereas a firearm can be quite a wreck.



In almost all cases the attacker is just fine



Though he may wake up in jail doing serious time.



A stun device, as everybody knows



Does not leave a hole that a doctor must close.



So let’s be humane and not take a life



As could certainly be the case with a gun or a knife.



A stun gun just blocks impulses from the brain



They aren’t truly designed to cause an attacker pain.



By blocking neurological signals from the head



It keeps an attacker from trying to make you dead.



It basically gives you control of their actions



And they are much cheaper than a firearm (we’re talking a fraction).



And you don’t need to feel like a version of Rambo



As the cell phone stun gun is so darn incognito.



Even right up close it just looks like a cell



Not a powerful stun gun designed to give an attacker hell.



How powerful you ask, well it will give serious jolts



These things pack a walloping 4.5 million volts.



That’s more than enough to stop the baddest attack



Even if the attacker is jacked up on crack.



You may think that this device just stops right there



At being effective without harming a hair.



But you would be mistaken; this thing is out of sight



It also comes equipped with a super bright light.



So do what is right for you and your loved ones



And strongly consider carrying cell phone stun guns.







Stay Safe,



Carl Vouer





If you have fallen head-over-heels in love with the cell phone stun gun because of this beautiful poem please visit your friendly poetic online stun gun dealer.