Ode to the Cell Phone Stun Gun

Ode to the Cell Phone Stun Gun


A poem by Carl Vouer





It’s late at night and the streets are so quiet



I’m walking alone but I’ll fear no riot.



Because in my pocket I hold some protection



It’s a wonderful item, my favorite selection.



It looks like a cell phone to the naked eye



But a phone it is not, this thing is so sly.



It’s a non-lethal weapon of self-defense.



I will tell you what it is so you are not in suspense.



It’s a cell phone stun gun and I think they are keen



It helps protect the innocent from people that are mean.



If an attacker you fear, with this you should not



This thing will subdue him until in jail he can rot.



It’s as effective a weapon as can possibly be



And so much safer than a gun, I hope this you can see.



A stun device should leave no long lasting effect



Whereas a firearm can be quite a wreck.



In almost all cases the attacker is just fine



Though he may wake up in jail doing serious time.



A stun device, as everybody knows



Does not leave a hole that a doctor must close.



So let’s be humane and not take a life



As could certainly be the case with a gun or a knife.



A stun gun just blocks impulses from the brain



They aren’t truly designed to cause an attacker pain.



By blocking neurological signals from the head



It keeps an attacker from trying to make you dead.



It basically gives you control of their actions



And they are much cheaper than a firearm (we’re talking a fraction).



And you don’t need to feel like a version of Rambo



As the cell phone stun gun is so darn incognito.



Even right up close it just looks like a cell



Not a powerful stun gun designed to give an attacker hell.



How powerful you ask, well it will give serious jolts



These things pack a walloping 4.5 million volts.



That’s more than enough to stop the baddest attack



Even if the attacker is jacked up on crack.



You may think that this device just stops right there



At being effective without harming a hair.



But you would be mistaken; this thing is out of sight



It also comes equipped with a super bright light.



So do what is right for you and your loved ones



And strongly consider carrying cell phone stun guns.







Stay Safe,



Carl Vouer





If you have fallen head-over-heels in love with the cell phone stun gun because of this beautiful poem please visit your friendly poetic online stun gun dealer.

Ode to the Stun Gun Flashlight

Ode to the Stun Gun Flashlight
By Carl Vouer



Stun Gun Flashlight, defender of truth
You are my beacon of light that is forsooth.
When I walk the streets at night I shall fear no harm
I have you at my side, an extension of my arm.
The legend of your multi-function-ability is the best I’ve ever heard
My only hope is that multi-function-ability is a word.
When my car breaks down in a dangerous zone
I need fear not, I have your attachable red cone.
This works for roadside emergencies when I need it the most
Without you making me visible to other cars I could become toast.
It’s dark out at night and I’ve never had good luck
I could be out changing a tire and get hit by a truck.
But you are more than just that, oh yes so much more
You won’t let harm befall me when I walk out my door.
You come equipped with an alarm so loud it’s quite scary
Perfect for situations that are looking quite hairy.
Once your one hundred and thirty decibel alarm starts a callin’
All those would-be assailants will surely start bawlin’.
I don’t care if these assailants are big, bad and mean
A loud rock concert registers decibels of about one hundred and fifteen.
Your alarm will scare them unless they are deaf as a post
Either way it will alert others and draw the attention of most.
If the attacker is dumb or deaf or both and keeps coming
As soon as I activate the stun baton he’ll surely be bummin’.
The blue arc of light, the crackle of high voltage in the air
Will give even the hardest of criminals a good scare.
If after all this he still wants to attack
You’ll hit him with 200,000 volts and put him on his back.
And what I love most is you’ll do this with care
As stun guns do not permanently harm as much as a hair.
You’re a flashlight, an alarm, a stun gun and more
You are my protector and one I adore.
I’ll never travel without you, of that I can assure
So I need not worry about what may occur.
The streets are bright and safe with you at all times
If everyone had you we could put a major dent in crimes.
So thank you stun gun flashlight for all that you do
I will carry you forever, this much is true.

If you have fallen in love with the stun gun flashlight you are not alone. Please feel free to visit us if you are interested in knowing where to buy stun guns.

Security Guard Essentials: The Stun Master Telescopic Stun Baton

As a security guard you get to enjoy all of the potential risk of a police officer with all of the monetary rewards of job that pays very little. Don’t these security guards deserve, at the very least, an item of self-defense that can help protect not only themselves but any and all patrons visiting their place of employment? I cannot think of an item that fits this bill better than the Telescopic Stun Baton by Stun Master.

The Stun Master Telescopic Stun Bat0n is a perfect weapon of self-defense and more effective than the average stun gun because it offers its user an advantage that regular stun guns cannot and that is their reach. Most stun devices, unlike a taser or pepper spray, require the device to actually be touching an attacker in order for the product to do what it is intended to do and that is subdue the assailant. Regular stun devices do not shoot a projectile at the attacker and hence the device can only be used in close quarters combat. Although stun devices are immensely effective this necessity to be close to the attacker can leave some with an uneasy feeling and rightfully so. The Stun Baton is no different in that it must be touching an assailant but the advantage the baton has over its regular counterparts is that it is almost 2 feet long when fully extended (21.5 inches to be exact). Another nice feature about the Stun Baton is that it cannot be taken from you by an intruder as the entire top 6 inches of the device will shock anyone that tries to grab it. It’s rechargeable as well so one would not have to be concerned with purchasing expensive batteries on a security guard’s pay and at 800,000 volts it packs enough stopping power for even the most viscous and relentless of attackers. Lastly, these batons offer additional security by coming equipped with a super bright flashlight, flashing strobe and 120 decibel alarm. What security guard doesn’t need a flashlight? And the 120 decibel alarm can be used to summon additional security if the situation and need for that additional security arises.

As with all stun devices, the Stun Master Stun Baton offers an extremely effective means of subduing an individual in a humane and non-lethal way. The effects of a stun device are completely dissipated after about 20 to 30 minutes in almost all cases; the same can certainly not be said for firearms. So if you are a security guard or have security guards in your employ please do yourself and the civilians you are there to protect a favor and arm yourself with a Stun Master Stun Baton.

Stay Safe,
Carl Vouer

To see more on the Stun Master Stun Baton or other items of non lethal self defense please visit us online.

Note To Criminals: Do Not Mess With Senior Citizens That Carry Pepper Spray

Dear criminals,

We understand your plight, you need money to help fuel your insatiable appetite for drugs and alcohol and because you are morally and ethically bankrupt you would like to attain this money in the easiest and sleaziest way possible; by mugging the decent, hard-working, law-abiding citizens of this country. We also understand that when your depraved, conscious-less mind is choosing an individual to rob you would like an individual that is going to present the least resistance possible while you attempt to relieve them of their money and any valuables that they may have on their person. Senior citizens often fall into this category as they have naturally lost a bit of strength, speed and the general ability to defend themselves in a physical altercation. If we could offer just one bit of advice in this scenario, do NOT mess with a senior citizen that is carrying pepper spray.

See, pepper spray is a highly effective means of self-defense for seniors, women, men, students and just about anyone who doesn't enjoy handing over their wallets and/or purses to complete low-life strangers like yourself. Pepper spray's active ingredient is capsaicin, which is a chemical derived from the fruit of plants in the Capsicum genus, including chilis. It is basically just that, a spray made from peppers. Now when we say concentrated, we mean concentrated. The scoville rating system is a measurement used to measure the "hotness" of a pepper. For reference sake, a jalapeno pepper registers about 2,500-8,000 units on this scale, that's a pretty hot pepper. There is a pepper called the Naga Viper pepper that will absolutely destroy your mouth as it is one of the hottest peppers on earth and this bad boy packs about 855,000 scoville units. Eating one of these Naga Viper peppers raw could put you in a hospital or even worse. So how hot is the average pepper spray? Try about 5 million scoville units. How do you think that will feel in your eyes, nose, throat and lungs after some little old lady sprays you in self-defense? Let's just say it will have a significantly detrimental effect on the remainder of your day.

It would be in your best interest to steer clear of any senior citizen that may be carrying pepper spray on them. Now I know what you are asking, 'How do I know which seniors might be carrying a defensive spray in their purse or pocket?'. You don't. That's the beauty of pepper spray, it is easily concealable and amazingly easy to carry on your person at all times which makes it ideal for seniors. You also need no special skills or strength to operate a defensive spray device. I guess what we are trying to say is that you should probably not mess with anyone in general as you never know who may be carrying such a spray, as it is going to wind up being you that feels the pain, not them. Maybe it's time to go back to school and become a doctor.


Yours Truly,

Carl Vouer
Puzek Security Systems


To see more pepper spray for seniors please visit us online at Puzek Security Systems

Any Bear Spray for Camping Should Be Safe for the Bear as Well

I hate being mauled to death by bears. Actually, in fairness, I have never actually been mauled to death by bears but I can’t think of a more unpleasant way to spend a weekend than to be attacked by a frightened bear. When you are camping, hiking or just spending some quality time outdoors it is always a good idea to have some form of protecting yourself should you be spending those good times in an area where bears may be present. Let us not only look out for ourselves though as bears deserve our compassion and respect as well.

I think bears are one of the most misunderstood animals in the world and I think much of that has to do with the fact that they are one of the few animals in North America that could potentially pose a real threat to the life of a human being. Because of this fact I think we see some very bogus stories circulate about bear attacks and oftentimes exactly what transpired in an actual bear attack is blurred from what actually occurred. Let us have some compassion and understanding for these beautiful creatures. Here are some facts about bear attacks that you may not know…

• You are 120 times more likely to die of a bee sting than die of a black bear attack.
• You are 45 times more likely to die from a dog attack than a black bear attack
• 1 out of 1,000,000 (that’s 1 million) will ever kill someone. (Humans have a much higher rate of murderers than do bears).
• There are about 750,000 black bears in North America, on average there is less than one black bear killing per year.
• You are 60,000 times more likely to be killed by a human than you are by a black bear.
Grizzly bears are vastly outnumbered by black bears and do cause a bit more of a threat than do black bears as they tend to be more aggressive. The vast majority (and I’m talking about almost all) of black bear encounters end with the black bear leaving the premises or the human killing the bear (if it is during hunting season).

That is why I am such a huge advocate of Guard Alaska bear spray, because it helps protect not only yourself but the bear as well. Bear spray works exactly like pepper spray does for humans. The spray causes an intense burning sensation in the bears eyes, nose, throat and lungs but leaves the creature with no ill side effects after 30 minutes or so. It is also completely safe for the environment as it contains no harmful, ozone-depleting chemicals, safe for you, the bear and the environment? What more could you ask for?



Stay Safe,



Carl Vouer



To see more bear spray for camping or other animal repellents please visit us at Puzek Security systems

Your Stun Gun Dealer May Be the Most Humane Person You Know

In my opinion, stun guns receive a bad rap. For some reason there is a negative connotation associated with the words stun gun and to be honest I don’t fully understand it. I think one of the main reasons that the stun gun gets viewed in a negative light has much to do with all of the stupid YouTube videos of morons having stun devices used on them. For example, the ‘don’t taze me, bro!’ video or the drunken buffoon on a tractor being tased while driving drunk on said tractor. Also there are probably times when an authority figure, such as a law enforcement officer, may have been to quick to resort to the use of a stun device when dealing with a potential threat. I wish this wasn’t the case but let’s be honest, I would much rather have a stun device used on me than a firearm, knife, bat, chair or even a fist. This is in no way condoning the use of excessive or unwarranted force by law enforcement officials or anyone else, I am simply saying that law enforcement needs to have a weapon of some kind and I’d rather they be prone to using a stun device than a firearm.

Stun devices work by emitting a high voltage, low amperage current of electricity to the assailant which works to disrupt the normal neurological impulses being sent from the assailant’s brain to his muscles. In other words it renders the attacker helpless by taking control of his or her own body away from them and giving it to the person doing the stunning. This may sound a bit harsh but one needs to look at the alternative to a stun device being used, that being a firearm. Stun guns are by no means a device to be taken lightly but in almost every case they prove to be non-lethal and leave the assailant with no permanent side effects. This is a far cry better than a firearm which can prove to be fatal in a great many cases. Stun devices rarely even require a trip to the hospital whereas a firearm is going to leave a hole in somebody that only a professional should be closing. According to Time magazine there were over 30,000 gun related deaths in the United States last year. I am having some trouble locating an accurate number of stun gun related deaths last year but the numbers I do see all range between numbers less than 50 or .001% of the fatalities that fire arms had caused.

The point I am trying to make here is that although I wished we all lived in a fairytale land where violent criminals did not exist and the need for protecting innocent people was not a concern, we do not live in such a world and we do need to protect ourselves. I would hope that if one does decide to protect themselves or others with a self-defense weapon, that weapon would be a non-lethal and humane alternative to a firearm. The stun gun fits that bill nicely.

Stay Safe,

Carl V.

If after careful and thoughtful consideration you decide that it is in your best interest to buy stun guns online please visit your friendly online stun gun dealer.