Dear Valentine,
While other men are out buying cards, candy, and flowers for their wives and/or girlfriends (hopefully not both) like a bunch of unoriginal, mindless drones I have decided to go an altogether different route. This Valentine’s Day I have decided to show you that I truly care by getting you something you can really use, is totally original and unique, and unequivocally says I love you.
Sweetheart, I couldn’t help but notice that you are not a bat and as such cannot maneuver around in the dark so well. Fortunately for you this stun gun flashlight is exactly what the first half of its name implies, a flashlight. Not just any flashlight either but a sturdy, ultra-bright one.
Darling, do you remember when you called me in the middle of the night whilst you were stranded on the side of the highway having to change a tire all by your lonesome? I’m sure you do as I remember hearing the panic in your voice as you explained to me the danger you were in with the cars whizzing by, enveloped in pitch darkness. I worried so much for you that it was almost unbearable. Now we can both put our minds at ease because this stun gun flashlight comes with a detachable red cone that can be used to increase your visibility during roadside emergencies.
My Love, although this device, amongst other things, is a stun device that can be used to disable an attacker at close range it absolutely makes me quiver to think of you so close to a potentially dangerous individual. That is why this stun gun flashlight also comes equipped with an ultra-loud, 130 decibel alarm. If a bad guy should approach and you know his intentions are to harm you, simply press the alarm button and anyone in a quarter mile radius is going to know something is amiss. More importantly the bad man will know that everyone in the area knows something is amiss and will most likely turn tail and flee for fear of being seen and ultimately apprehended.
Schmoopie Bear, now if that man should continue to approach, even after you’ve sounded the alarm I want you to remember one very important thing and that is that this device, above all other things, is a 200,000 volt stun baton. If he doesn’t want to treat his fellow humans with the respect they are due then you need to help teach him a lesson with these 200,000 volts. And remember, voltage does not kill which is what makes these stun devices so humane, they simply incapacitate and almost never leave the attacker with any long term negative side effects. So that’s it, I hope you enjoy your gift.
Love,
Your Valentine
To send your valentine a stun gun flashlight or see where to buy stun guns please visit us at Puzek Security Systems.
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