Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching and that means millions of Americans will once again dash out to the local Hallmark store or order flowers online or perhaps buy a box of chocolates with a little teddy bear with a little heart on its chest. Their way of saying ‘I love you’ to their significant other or at the very least “I like you enough to buy what every other jerk is buying their significant other today’. So if you like your significant other just enough to get them something that lacks any imagination whatsoever please feel free to get them a box of chocolates, or roses or just some mass produced Hallmark card that is exactly like the one that thousands of others are getting their boyfriend or girlfriend, that way they will know you care just enough.
However, if you really want to get your significant something completely and utterly unique and thoughtful, a gift that says ‘I care about you and your well-being and I would hate for anything to happen to you’ you may want to consider getting that significant other of yours a cell phone stun gun. I know what you are probably saying to yourself and that is ‘how in the heck am I supposed to give a stun gun to my girlfriend or boyfriend on the most romantic of all holidays?’. Well let’s think about it shall we? What is really romantic about a card or box of candy? What is getting a box of candy saying to your significant other, I hope you get fat so here’s some candy? What can possibly be more romantic than protecting your significant other from potential attack? Nothing in my opinion. When you give the gift of a cell phone stun gun you give an entirely unique gift which automatically shows you’re not just some mindless drone that gets their valentine the same dang thing that every other mindless drone has been classically conditioned to give like one of Pavlov’s dogs.
Your valentine might at first assume you have given him or her a cell phone as even on the closest of inspection this device appears to be just that, a cell phone. Once he or she realizes that it is in fact a 4.5 million volt weapon of thoughtful, humane, non-lethal, and extremely effective self-defense they will no doubt know that they have the greatest, most thoughtful valentine around, they will also most likely wish they had gotten you something besides a crummy card. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Stay Safe,
Carl Vouer
To send your sweetie a cell phone stun gun please visit your friendly online stun gun dealer.
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